honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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