Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
