well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
