So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Enjoy the penises
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
