Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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