Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
