Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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