speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
