am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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