There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Text me some of your sweat
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
