Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
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I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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