The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
