This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
