Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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