I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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