OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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