If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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