Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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