So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
