In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
where are my pants?
in the oven.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
