Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
