Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
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My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
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Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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