u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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