I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I have surprise drugs for everyone
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
