How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
