he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's blow job season.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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