I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
