On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
