Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
