then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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