I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize