And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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