I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
