Where is the hickey?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...