i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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