i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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