Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
