I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
All I want is dick and wine.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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