I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He? As in you personified your dick?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
