Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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