i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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