your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
