Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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