..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
