I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
