Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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