this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
