on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Randomize
