If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
