Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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