I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
