her vagine was all disorganized.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
