At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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