this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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