just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
