her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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