need another drink. this is the easiest way
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
