the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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