Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You are a genius and a whore.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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