What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
All I want is dick and wine.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
