maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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