can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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