he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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